The Night Passed by

Last year I partook in NaNoWriMo for a second time.

I may have mentioned this at the time. Not certain.

Didn’t end up with what I’d describe as a decent result, but there were parts that were okay.

Below is a small bit of what I produced.

I think I was trying to express some sort of release and catharsis.

Not sure as to how well it comes through. Probably needs a bit more work.

I hope you enjoy.

The night passed by without event, and in the morning I woke up in pain. As I had predicted, my arms were very sore. So were my legs. I felt weak.

Eugene was already up making breakfast. Eileen woke shortly after me.

It was 5:30 in the morning.

I felt well-rested, but I also felt drained. I was sore, but this was something that I’d have to push through if I was to see the end of the walk. I had to remind myself that it could be worse, and realistically it really could have been much worse. All things considered, I was quite okay.

Breakfast was soon ready. We took it to Splendour Rock and watched the glorious sunrise as this pocket of the earth woke up and embraced the morning light.
The world woke up here and so did we.

More glorious colours carried themselves across the landscape. More beauty to experience. The last time that any of us would look upon this area for the foreseeable future. It was a most wondrous moment.
Breakfast done, we felt refreshed.

We hurried back to camp, packed everything up as quickly as we could, made sure that we were completely ready, then headed down Mount Dingo.

We had a long walk ahead of us, but surely it was one that we could get done quickly. If we were able to get to our destination with speed, then surely we’d be able to get back to Katoomba quickly enough.
Down the side of the mountain, we made a good pace despite stiffness in the joints. We reached Mobbs Swamp within fifty minutes of leaving. About another 30 to 40 from there and we were back at the crossroads.

A quick toilet and snack break and we made our way back to Taro’s Ladder.

We ascended the hill, made our way toward Mount Derbet. I began slipping away, but I pushed on. My physical being needed to continue. I needed to get to the end of this. I had a desire not to leave, but a desire to get back home so I could see all of this again one day in the future.
We continued on, pushed our limbs and tried to stop as little as possible. We had to keep on going. We had to push on. We had to keep on walking. I walked. I moved one leg in front of the other, continuing the motion as the terrain changed and adjusted itself. I continued on, hanging my head low, I continued on. I pushed. The legs needed to keep on working. I felt light and slowly began to drift, but remained as firmly attached to the earth as I possibly could.

I took a sip of water as the lightness began to carry me along and I began to elevate over the path as my body became embraced in a state of pain and euphoria. The winds kissed at my skin and wanted to carry me along to make my journey easier. I felt the branches of trees long past as the details all began to blur into each other. There was a stretch that needed to be reached and I could only keep on moving, but I could also try and extend myself to encompass more land at once.

I kept on going and found soon that my senses became more and more reliable as I gave in more to the course of nature. The sky was strong and motionless, but it too could see and reach. There was a connection that I was trying to touch, but it all began to become all too fake to me, but the nature of things were all too real. I had to keep on walking, but the embrace was too strong, but I had to keep on walking as I began to float along and above the path. I was elongate, the details of the land began to fade, yet were distinctly there. Eugene and Eileen continued on, but they became distant in a way that I could not initially interpret. I was there, they were there, but they were getting away from me as I slowly morphed into an amorphous being and found my body stretching and becoming convoluted in its simplicity. I melded in with the earth and the plants and I became one as the sky changed and become something else entirely as it disappeared and all that was and is became flat and hard.

Dimensions began and became a hard, discernible thing with a physicality that I could not interpret beforehand, but now as it all seemed to fade everything became clear. There was time and time was visiting, but I could only know the breath of the air that I was breathing as my lungs were no longer required. I floated along and rose above the ground and looked for a way out, but there was no need as I embraced everything that was around me. I could only become one with it all, I needed not my physicality.

It didn’t matter that Taros Ladder was coming up and it was as effortless as it had always been, but I couldn’t see quite through the miasma that was blinding me, but of course it didn’t matter.

I spread out and let it all take me away and the earth was crying out the terrible pains that it had endured, but at the same time the comfort was all enough to bear. The burden had to be set and it could easily get rid of it, yet its maw needed to open and there needed to be an expression as the trees rustled with life that we don’t really ever perceive. They were crawling with critters and the rocks could only hear and not talk nor speak, but I could see inside it all and find the ocean of trees that spread themselves across the waves of land, the masses and folds that we all looked at once, and that was the way that it always was and always will be, but of course there will be a time when the sun must be hidden and the liquid must fall to the earth and the earth must be saturated and filled, and satiated, and as I floated there the rain fell and it fell hard, and the weather encroached on our beings, but I just moved and moved through it and back to Narrow Neck, but there was a rope and the rope needed to be utilised in order for us to keep on going, but it was, and we were wet and soaked and brought back down, but the sky did not care and it demanded and called, but the birds of the land were sheltered and it all became thick and warm with a fog, a miasma and there was nothing but there was a detail and the world compacted in on itself, or at least that bit of land that was and forever shall be, but we continued and I was gone for I could not return, because how could I answer them all? If I met my maker, what would I say? Would they take pity on me? Was there one? It didn’t matter anymore, for I could only feel the land around me, but I was one with the land as I had become the land and I knew that the needles upon the spaces where needed to motivate all the masses and the youth, but appreciation could lead to no sort of dedication beyond the minimal of what was required, and I was scared as there was no new being that I had every known prior to this one, but it was all done and all was at peace, and I could close my eyes, or at least what I perceived to be my eyes and there was no known as to where I could go from here, but I kept on rising and lifting off the earth and the sound stretched out itself to become a new sound and suddenly the waves were over everything but there was none and the ground sagged where the rain fell, and we were caught in it all, but there was no longer us, no longer an individualistic form of being, but indeed something new as it were.

Could I truly face it all?

I was scared, but it was done it was done it was done and there was no turning back but the crimp of it all dissolved into the will of being and nothing quite like the glowing orb of the sinews could truly conduct by dint of knowledge, but there no longer was any need for that kind of thing and it all was as is as was as is as was as was as was was was and there was no longer an I , but the mind was active and there was awareness and the slip in which I chose to fall through, I saw it all I saw it all all all lll alll and where else but now was where I couldn’t be, but pushed on forward to make sure that all the lights went out and goodnight my sweet prince, I love you and will see you again, but not today, for even if there is a world in which I’d like to embrace and see you once more and ask all that you were, some questions needed to remain unanswered and I didn’t know as to how I could tell myself or yourself that, but these were my thoughts and if that meant that everything stayed in my mind, then that’s where I had to leave it all, but the trunks were just filling and my tears mixed with rain, but they didn’t see it, but they could have felt it for I was massive and howling and the pain of the being was insignificant in comparison to the pain of the heart and mind and all the questions that will never be answered, and I was afraid, but I knew that in returning I would have to one day, but for now the clouds were my justice and my ears were all for those to hear, but that was it, that was all, there was nothing left except the physical world that I had to be chained to, and the questions had to be let go, but instead a thought, a lingering sentiment directed at the death of a housemate as he lay in his final moment, but I couldn’t see the way through and needed to get there somehow.

But the world had dawned and the sentiment was the memory that I held, and as I walked and continued on and internally convulsed and kept going, I was a weak man, but along with Eugene and Eileen you were there, your presence, and we traversed Narrow Neck in the rain, the heavy, unrelenting rain, and I knew that it really was going to be all okay, and I could work out that which I needed to do in my own time so long as I kept doing things in the interim, and I was embraced as I cried for the pain of having to see you be left behind whilst the rest of us aged was close to unbearable, but I was there, I was present, and the world was beautiful.

About Stupidity Hole

I'm some guy that does stuff. Hoping to one day fill the internet with enough insane ramblings to impress a cannibal rat ship. I do more than I probably should. I have a page called MS Paint Masterpieces that you may be interested in checking out. I also co-run Culture Eater, an online zine for covering the arts among other things. We're on Patreon!
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