So far this morning has been a mix of procrastination and study.
Well, it’s actually the afternoon now, so let me begin anew.
This morning was a mix of procrastination and study.
At the current moment, it still is a mix that is precariously balanced. Hopefully the study gains more weight and causes the lean to go that way, but who knows what will happen within the next thirty minutes?
What will happen after that?
At the moment that is the current one in a period of time defined by certain parameters, I can only surmise that this is procrastination and not a predictor to what will happen down the track.
I should probably be ignoring this at the current moment, but I don’t feel like doing such a thing.
Realistically I’m shooting myself in the foot by not concentrating on study, but I think that I’m a bit more over study than I’d like to admit.
I’m sitting here, typing away under the pretense of doing something productive when instead I could actually be doing something productive.
Once tomorrow is past I’ll have a bit more freedom to spread my wings, as it were.
Tomorrow has the joy of being a horrible day due to the requirement of one final exam needing to be passed, then one assessment requiring a physical hand in, then work and realistically I have no space to moan about such as thing as I got myself into the situation and the only way out is with a lot of gumption,m a lot of elbow grease and a lot of hard work in order to get to the end of it all.
At the same time, something something something and so on.
I can only think of the many other things that I want to do which probably means that I’m letting myself fail for lack of trying.
Maybe it’s the fear of failure thing.
You know, you’re afraid of failure so you get really paranoid and lock yourself in your house and get a heavy growth around your face as you stuff yourself with food that has to be delivered to the door and slowly the moss creeps up the living room walls as your sweat stains the brown couch, the bags under your eyes get big enough to store things in them, and so on…
I think that I need to not do that as that would be a really bad way to go about my business.
I just want to walk, man, and I just want to get out there and away from the city and into the bush once more. I want to be able to walk around along a path in the sun or in the rain and slowly make my way to something else. I need to get away from the city as it holds no lustre for me and I’d much rather be among something that is much more real and more natural to me than something that breeds corporate activity.
Well, so does the bush but it’s much more in the background than it is in the fore.
Whilst I say this, I can’t ignore that tomorrow will be a hurdle that I need to jump over, but so long as I can do such a thing, I think I’ll be okay.
I’ll probably feel much less stressed and probably be able to keep on moving forward to something else, whatever that something else may be, if there is indeed something to be at all.
I think I just need a bit of a break from everything. Well, maybe not everything, but there are plenty of things that I think I may need a break from in order to allow for more rest and relaxation and so I can come back to everything recharged and ready so that I can then grapple the multi-headed beast that I’ve allowed into my life and successfully combat it in some form of hand-to-hand action.
There will be no quarter as we wrestle to the ground and to submission I shall drag the beast, for there is no stopping me once I get going, or something.
After all, tomorrow is another day and it is a day that can be surmounted with enough work, but that is… I think I’ve gone off track.
where was all of this leading to, if it was indeed leading to something at all?
I cannot remember.
Well, where should I go form here?
Oh yes. Tomorrow, then a bit of a rest in order to recharge, then something else that will lead to another something else, I think, but not always.
And yet, indelibly so there is a chance for that which will not be and yet so forth will be that which does not do and sometimes on occasion.
So I need to study and instead of doing so, I’m sitting here pissing on about things and wasting time, but at least I feel as though I’m getting stuff off of my mind, but the issue is is that this may not be worth the time it took to write. However, there is always the argument that everything written is worth the time so long as it leads to some sort of improvement regardless of how gradual that improvement may be.
With that being said, this may be a step down or a step up. there is no way to tell unless there is a way to tell.
Perhaps I have planted many hints throughout this tract, but the only way to find out is by getting here and and then reaching some sort of conclusion based on analysis.
Perhaps I really just don’t want to be in Sydney and want to run and hide form everything, but there is a beast out there that needs to be wrestled to the ground and only I can wrestle that beast, for that beast is mine and mine alone to wrestle to the ground.
he time it took to write one thousand words: 11:55:38
Alright, so there’s two reasons as to why this was written.
The first is that I haven’t done more than two uploads in a day in a while and wanted to see if I had the ability to do so whilst remaining consistent quality-wise. Not sure if I was, but then again the quality here has never been something that I would consider high.
The second is that I don’t do enough one thousand word challenges for my liking and wanted to see if I had enough to get one out. I think I did.
It was faster than expected.
Written at UNSW.