Five-Hundred Word Challenge 396: Spiffy New Tongue

Once upon a time there was a person who was working in an office.

On one particular day, they were chewing on a toothpick, as their teeth at one point needed picking, but not at the point where they were chewing as the picking had by then been completed and now they were just chewing on a toothpick, as you do sometimes when you are bored and trying to kill time, for there is now an object in your mouth that has helped to dislodge other objects and whilst it is a small bit of wood, you still feel like chewing something and don’t have any gum handy to chew, so instead you’ll chew on the toothpick as that is at least already partially in your mouth and it’s much better than chewing on your own tongue which is something that you don’t want to do, unless you do want to chew on your own tongue, in which case be my guest, but most people don’t want to do that as it’s probably a dangerous thing to do and if you end up biting really hard onto your tongue by accident you’ll end up with a bit of a mess on your hands which may lead to you going to hospital to get your tongue sewed back together unless the bit that was bitten off atrophies really quickly, in which case you may have a shorter tongue for the rest of your life which you would probably get used to, but it would most likely cause a few issues at first and then you’d have to learn to cope with the sudden loss and whilst you would get used to it eventually, you may still get something akin to a phantom limb, but that’s the path you walked and it is now one you must continue walking as there is no diversion that you can now take unless somehow there is some sort of tongue transplant invented which would mean you’d be in luck as, due to your accident you would now be able to sign up as a test patient for the transplant and you’d have a spiffy new tongue tip (so long as the tongue didn’t reject it), which would then lead to your feeling some sense of completion, but it would never be your original tongue as it is a tongue tip that belonged to someone else and nothing you can do will change that, so you’d have to get used to it and deal with the new change that has now come your way, so you’d better get used to it as you cannot turn back the clock and instead of chewing on your own tongue, choose instead to chew on a toothpick, so you’re now stuck with this new alleviation to a life of having a tongue that was not a complete tongue.

But still, at least it’s a lot better than being in a sea that was made entirely of salt.

That could suck.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 06:37:63

I like this one.

Not great, but I do think that it works well enough.
Fair bit of repetition, but it has a good flow and it’s (mostly) grammatically correct.

Written at work.

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About Stupidity Hole

I'm some guy that does stuff. Hoping to one day fill the internet with enough insane ramblings to impress a cannibal rat ship. I do more than I probably should. I have a page called MS Paint Masterpieces that you may be interested in checking out. I also co-run Culture Eater, an online zine for covering the arts among other things. We're on Patreon!
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