Five-Hundred Word Challenge 381: Greasy, Flammable Guy

It’s another one of those days spent at uni, not doing much and yet doing as much as possible as there is a lot that needs to be finished before I can completely and utterly declare my failure to get anything done at this particular stage of life spent in this year.

I’m beat. Rather tired. Have to get a fair bit done at the moment, but don’t want to do any of it due to laziness.

There’s other stuff I’d rather be doing, such as nothing at all due to the increasing amount of laziness for me.

There’s a lot that I do want to do that I don’t have the time to do.

Outside it is a sunny day and I am in here, typing away as there are things that need to be done! What fate has befallen me? This is a terrible way to live and I do not know if I will be able to cope for much longer!

I do know that there is a way out and once that way out has been found, then free I shall run in the winds of joy as those around me continue to beat their heads against a wall and their fists against a desk, in frustration, whereas I will be free and dancing and will be making my way towards meadows as the breeze blows through the grass, making it sway back and forth. There will be no one out there to stop me, for I will have managed to achieve all that needed to be achieved and then success will be within my hands.

How dare anyone try to take that away.

How dare.

They will not succeed, for I am too quick and slippery, like an eel covered in grease and jelly. I will be able to slide my way down the hills that are in front of my direction and there will be no slowing to my descending the topography of the land. I will speed up as I please and then I will reach a point where I am somewhat unstoppable.

Better watch out: there’s a greasy guy on the loose.

There would be so many places to check out and slide through. Perhaps there would be too many, which would leave me feeling indecisive about where I could and could not go all the time. There are only so many hours in the day and there are only so many places in which a greasy person can slide.

I’d also need to make sure that my grease is not able to burst into flames, for if it was, I would have a bit of a conundrum in my hands.

I would have to eternally outrun the flame as it tries to reach my glorious shimmering body, lest I become one with the flame and then am a greasy guy on fire.

However, before all of that I must get the work of the university that I need to do done.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 06:17:48

Well… hmm…

I don’t know.

Written at university.

About Stupidity Hole

I'm some guy that does stuff. Hoping to one day fill the internet with enough insane ramblings to impress a cannibal rat ship. I do more than I probably should. I have a page called MS Paint Masterpieces that you may be interested in checking out. I also co-run Culture Eater, an online zine for covering the arts among other things. We're on Patreon!
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3 Responses to Five-Hundred Word Challenge 381: Greasy, Flammable Guy

  1. Great post. What was your inspiration for this ?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Cheers. I don’t know.

      Liked by 1 person

      • It’s ok my friend 😊. You have an awesome way of expressing your thoughts and I really enjoy reading it. I have been very lucky to read your post and to be truthful, reading your post made my day 😊. I am following you now my friend. Please do stay in touch by following me. I hope we can be good friends 😊. And please, if you can, do see my blog and give me your 100% honest opinion about it. It would definitely help my blog to improve for the best 😇. This is the link to my blog

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        Like

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