Five-Hundred Word Challenge 286: Dialogue

Where is the hat?

It’s somewhere running around on your face, toward some sort of destination on the top of your head.

No it’s not. Stop talking shit.

It is, I swear!

Look, it’s not. I know you know where it is. Where did you put my hat?

I don’t know. You were the last person to have it.

And you were the lat person to take it. I saw you take it. Where did you put it.

Are you sure that you saw me take your hat? You were pretty wasted.

I’m pretty sure. At least, I think I’m pretty sure. Look, don’t make me doubt my faculties. Fess up.

Alright, alright. It’s in your room. It’s been sitting in your room all weekend.

Where in my room?

Have you looked on your drawers?

…I may have.

You haven’t. Perhaps you should check there instead of having a go at me for taking it. You could have lost it easily, being as stupid as you were last night.

I wouldn’t have lost it. It would have been fine.

No it wouldn’t have. You were running about, somehow not spraying vomit all over everyone whilst a strong wind was blowing. You ran down a steep hill and almost fell really hard. You would have lost your precious hat had I not taken it.

It would have been fine.

Yeah, yeah. Well, why don’t you go get it now then and put it back on where you think it belongs?

Well, I know where it s now so I don’t have to go and find it. I can go and put it back on whenever I like.

So you only had to put it back on when you didn’t know where it was?

No. What? That doesn’t make sense. Why would I need to wear a hat if I didn’t know where it was located?

Fair point.

Thought so.

Well, now that you know where it is, what are you going to do?

I think I’ll mediate on my life and the decisions that I’ve made that have lead me to this point in time. I think that I’ll look upon the stars and ask them as to why it is that I exist as I am, merely a man and little more. Once they have not answered me, I think that I’ll look to the trees in the west and prepare myself for some sort of lengthy journey that will reveal perhaps a little bit more about myself. That’s what I think I’ll do.

Yeah, so what are you really going to do?

Does it really matter right now?

Well, I guess not?

Well, we could go watch something. We could watch Razorback.



…What’s it about?

It’s about a wild pig in The Outback.

Well, it sounds like an interesting film.

Yeah, so let’s go veg out and watch it then.

Is there anything else to do right now? Couldn’t we just go grab food instead?

Not really.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 09:19:89

This was partially influenced by conversations that Ewe and I have had.

I started off just writing and it gradually became closer to stuff we may say.

Written at home.

About Stupidity Hole

I'm some guy that does stuff. Hoping to one day fill the internet with enough insane ramblings to impress a cannibal rat ship. I do more than I probably should. I have a page called MS Paint Masterpieces that you may be interested in checking out. I also co-run Culture Eater, an online zine for covering the arts among other things. We're on Patreon!
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