Five-Hundred Word Challenge 221: Can’t get Good Coffee at UNSW

Today, for the first time in a very long time, I decided to go against all good  judgement and get a coffee at UNSW.

At UNSW, I got a coffee. It was a bad idea.

There are people here who have somehow been brainwashed into believing that there is a place at UNSW where you can get good coffee. at UNSW, there is no place that offers good coffee. It ranges from bile filth to tolerable mud water. Well, usually. Sometimes it is merely tolerable.

The coffee on offer is significantly overpriced for what you get. If I wanted to get overpriced bad coffee, I’d go to Starbucks or Gloria Jeans.

So I went to this place that supposedly does good coffee. I’d been there before, but it had been well over a year and it was the only place that I thought I could get something not overly bad from, but it turned out that I was wrong.

A coffee should not taste like bitter lukewarm milk. Sure, there are plenty of variances to coffee, but generally a good blend of flavour is a starting point for a good coffee, of which you work from there. You don’t just suddenly decide to make it some weird combination of bitterness and dairy. It doesn’t make for a good experience.

The problem is that with people thinking that something like this makes for good coffee is that it convinces other people to go. If they don’t have enough experience with coffee, they start convincing themselves that it makes for good coffee and in turn start trying to convince other people themselves. It is not healthy.

The last time I had coffees from this place, they were different. They were still merely tolerable. It’s almost as though they haven’t improved and merely gone sideways.

I’ve had coffee from a few different places on campus and not once has the coffee been good. It’s almost as though the people that run the coffee places here think that giving crappy quality coffee is okay because they have some sort of monopoly. It is not okay. If you’re going to charge crappy prices for crappy coffee, then please leave. A coffee should be well-made all the time. A barista should also be able to work quickly and make a good quality coffee at the same time. They shouldn’t take their sweet time and come out with something that tastes like it’s been run through a machine that has not been cleaned for a very long time, which I’m going to guess is part of the problem.

Coffee from a clean machine tastes good. It also comes across as though the person who made it actually cares about what coffee is and isn’t. Coffee from a dirty machine shows a lack of interest in actually being good at one’s job. It shows that someone who made the coffee doesn’t actually know what they’re doing, because making a good coffee is more than just mixing the ingredients.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 09:56:65

I hope to myself that the next coffee I get at UNSW is good.
I also hope to myself that the next time I get a coffee at UNSW, I don’t.

About Stupidity Hole

I'm some guy that does stuff. Hoping to one day fill the internet with enough insane ramblings to impress a cannibal rat ship. I do more than I probably should. I have a page called MS Paint Masterpieces that you may be interested in checking out. I also co-run Culture Eater, an online zine for covering the arts among other things. We're on Patreon!
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