So I was writing in between calls today, starting and stopping as I assisted customers because it’s a bit difficult to hammer on the keyboard about stuff that has nothing to do with work when I’m at work doing work.
I accidentally reset the timer, so now I am starting again. However, I am rather sad about the loss, for it was this wonderfully rambling polemic that went nowhere. It was grand in its scope and pure in its meaninglessness and I might just have it at the very end of this post.
It contained a beauty that, despite my attempts to grasp and control, would continually slip and become as amorphous as it was defined.
It would change in front of me, becoming and unbecoming as it got away, forever out of reach yet always within my range, continuously mercurial and something that cannot be perceived with open eyes of mediating business.
But of course, as all things are to be, sooner or later it would not and as the time was lost on me, it had disappeared almost as quickly as it had appeared and all I was left with was an incomplete writing and a fleeting memory of what could have been, as well as the reality of what shall never be.
Perhaps it was meant to be that way. Perhaps it is complete in its incompleteness and is beautiful simply because it shall never be finished.
Beauty can be found in something that is frayed, damaged, unfinished, or ruined. There is beauty all around us in these kinds of things and to imply otherwise is to not see the world around us due to the seeming willingness to remain closed off from a world of reality and possibility that is is only bound by how much you are willing to experience that which is around you.
Of course, I could be completely incorrect. However, I am never incorrect.
All those times are part of a side story, so they don’t count.
So I wrote this thing and then I lost the time which lead me to starting all over again, which is why I am writing this now. I don’t know how this will compare until I decide to have this finished. Whether that be at five-hundred words, or one-thousand words, I am not sure right now.
All I know is that I’m going as fast as I possibly can so I can get to the end so I can post the thing that I was writing before so everyone can see as to how I used words in a way that could be seen as being completely and utterly ridiculous, although some might see it as being wonderful.
Sometimes words are best used without any specific meaning in mind, better for the sound and the way that they connect with each other, or for the imagery that they conjure.
Sometimes words are just words, as they don’t have meaning until meaning is added.
The time it took to write five-hundred words: 07:40:37
So I have no idea as to what I’ve written and I don’t care to find out.
I think that the bit of writing that this was going to be was better, somehow.
Here it is:
After finishing work last night, heading home to sleep and then waking up to come to work once more, I am now at work once more.
Well, as we all know, the hungriest caterpillar is the hungriest until there is nothing left to eat.
I am sitting here, waiting for the work to fly through at some sort of enigmatically fast pace that can only leave me wondering as to what it is that I’m doing, forever somehow confused on the phones as I keep using the wrong greeting for the time of day that I am inhabiting at that given moment, then correcting myself and making the customers laugh because they find my confusion amusing but they don’t know that I am so lost within myself that I am falling and tumbling through an infinite void of impossibility, slowly yet surely coming into ym own skin as I become the ultimate version of myself, or something to similar effect.
All I know right now is that I haven’t shaved in a week or more., I’m at work, I’m writing and sitting here whilst going through the process of writing and there is someone outside somewhere in the world who may or may not be wearing pants, which is something that I cannot confirm.
Perhaps this person is both wearing pants and not wearing pants and the state of their pants wearing is simultaneous until they are viewed, whch woyuld then lead to one state being erased from existence in that particular point in time whilst the other one reigns superior to everything because that’s the way thtat things work, I think.
I don’t know. I’m only a male.
Anywaym with all of that being said, I think that it’s fair to say that right now I would rather be looking out onto the ocean, the salt air licking my face as the waves crash around and underneath me.
Looking out, watching the horizon subtly change as the day passes by and various colours caress the canvass of the sky until all is dark and all that I would have to illuminate that which is around me is the light cast off the moon and the stars that watch from above, slowly moving around.
Sadly it ended before I could complete the sentence.
Written at work.