There’s something that can be said about the extreme inability to care about what others think about your complete lack of fashion when you’re wearing the mighty item known as the Hawaiian shirt.
You put on the garish piece of clothing that will forever define who you are for but a few fleeting moments of your life and suddenly, you are the king (or queen) over all, for no one can touch you and your mighty ability to be completely and utterly indifferent to the opinion of those around you, for you know that you are suddenly the coolest person alive (and then some).
For that period of wearing the shirt, you are untouchable in just how cool and brilliant you are. Everyone recognises it, yet they all refuse to acknowledge such a thing because they fear that if they do, they will be admitting some sort of defeat that they cannot allow to happen as it will shatter the very reality they’ve work ed so hard to cultivate; A reality that lies by espousing pseudo-coolness and forever shunning the Hawaiian shirt as something that can never be cool unless worn ironically, for only the hipster can wear such an item and it is an item that cannot be enjoyed in the wearing position unless there is severe irony involved.
If this pseudo-reality is shattered, they will be forced to admit just how much they have been lying about the fact that a Hawaiian shirt can be worn very easily and enjoyed for it’s hideous (and sometimes loud) nature.
Nobody truly wants to admit this, but deep down inside, they know that one day they will have to admit that there’s a little bit of big fat party animal in many of us and trying to suppress such a thing because it doesn’t confirm with their non-conformist beliefs will inevitably lead to some sort of failure in the system which would cause the mind to collapse from the suppression of the truth that so nags away and gnaws at their thoughts, letting loose their fears of a world of wearing Hawaiian shirts without a hint of irony to run rampant until they are finally forced to cry to the heavens about a world for which they cannot have.
With all of that being said, there are probably times when wearing a Hawaiian shirt could possibly be considered inappropriate to wear, such as a funeral. This is a situation where it is quite possible that wearing a Hawaiian shirt would be frowned upon.
It is something that enables a severe disregard for the dearth of fashion sense of those around you, but due to the power that rests within a Hawaiian shirt, it is certainly something that one should always choose to wear only at appropriate times.
Thankfully, inappropriate times are few and far between, for it truly is an article of clothing that knows few equals and only knows how to look wonderfully amazing all the time.
All the time.
The time it took to write five-hundred words: 09:58:74
Interesting thing about writing this one: Most of it was written at work. I had to finish it at home as my shift was over before this was completed.
I slowed down much more when I started writing this at my desk.
Written at work and home.