Five-Hundred Word Challenge 156: A Whinge About Heat

Well, here we go, into another day that is a Friday. It’s warm and all I want do do right now is sit here, sweating away in my underpants to the extent that somehow my room manages to become some sort of pool that I can wade in for a while, letting the sweet, salty effluent cool me down somehow as I splash around until a shark appears and decides that my torso would make for a good thing to bite in, thus letting me have to perform some sort of first aid on myself whilst I also punch a shark in the nose. Repeat ad infinitum until the shark is buying be drinks at the local pub.

So, in other words, there’s no real problem with today and all I want to do is nothing whilst I am somehow cooled automatically, but the chances of that happening are pretty low, so instead I shall soon head out with my trusty camera, go take some photos and gradually make my way to work where I shall work as efficiently as I can for a few hours before I have to head home and sleep and then get up tomorrow to do other things that will need to be done as I’ve been procrastinating a bit more than usual this morning, thus putting me in a position of having more work to do and less time in which I can do it.

Well, that’s the way that procrastination works and it’s something that I can’t be bothered to do anything about right now as the heat is making me want to whinge more than usual.


I want to whinge more than usual because I don’t want to deal with the fact that it is a warm day and would rather not have the sweat crawl down my back right now, because I can’t be bothered to put up with the fact that it’s warm in a mature manner.

Well, with all of that being said, it will cool down later, and that is good, because then I’ll be able to head home in a cooler temperature and into my room which will be some sort of very warm room by the time I arrive, leading me to have to deal with the non-issue once more, which will lead to even more whinging, which will then lead to more procrastination, which will then lead to nothing else, or perhaps something else.


Well, with all of that being said, what I probably should do, before I do anything, is have a shower, then head out, then find a place where I can dig a hole, then fill it with water, then submerge myself until summer decides that it’s done with being here.

I don’t have much of a problem with it being hot. I just don’t want it to be hot right now, because I have no good reason for not wanting it to be hot other than I’m being precious.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 07:21:23

Well, time to deal with the outside.

Written at home

About Stupidity Hole

I'm some guy that does stuff. Hoping to one day fill the internet with enough insane ramblings to impress a cannibal rat ship. I do more than I probably should. I have a page called MS Paint Masterpieces that you may be interested in checking out. I also co-run Culture Eater, an online zine for covering the arts among other things. We're on Patreon!
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