So I was sitting down earlier, having a bagel with cream cheese and a cappuccino because I was hungry. Cheese ended up on my face.
I was sitting there when I realised that this is what my life at this point had amounted to.
Feeling old, jaded, disgruntled, apathetic, apoplectic, wondering what the hell I was doing with my life and cream cheese on my face.
It was a moment of pure disturbance in the equilibrium of my life that I hold dear and near to me heart, thus shattering the illusion that I am better than everyone else and no one can hold a light near me because I’m so amazingly impressive that there’s no stopping me from going above and beyond everything, slowly making my way to the sun before piercing it and bursting through to the other side unscathed.
I was so disturbed in this brief moment of torment and anguish that I almos rethought everything I was doing in order to give up on my dreams and go back into the office rat race in order to be content with the fact that I’d have a job and security because that would be so much better than what I’m doing now as whilst a risk can yield brilliant results, the fear of success took over and that’s something I’d rather avoid because I don’t know what I’d do if I achieved my dreams.
That is to say that I had cheese on my face and cleaned it off without having a moment of doubt.
The rest might be applicable, but I’m not sure, so I shall choose not to canonize it as that could end up being significantly erroneous and the last thing I want to do is be misleading in that manner, for that would be unsporting.
Yes, I’m currently at university. No, I do not know why I am not studying right now.
Oh wait, I do.
Suffice to say, I’d rather burrow into the ground and then jump out and scare a bunch of snooty uni students because… I don’t know.
I don’t know where I’m going with that, but I think I’ve successfully derailed myself now, so I should probably look at seeing as to what I can start digging into to gain the knowledge of many years of hard work, labour, and brainstorming that allowed me to study the subjects that I am now studying, for that would be much more productive than what I’m doing right now.
Alternatively, I could just find a horse, help it escape, ride it to uni and then whilst I am being as majestic as I can, make demands from my course coordinators that would allow me to pass with the minimum effort, and then some!
Or perhaps I should just knuckle down, shut up and get to the learning instead of going on pointless tangents that do nothing more than allow me to avoid studying whilst not being creative in any sense.
The time it took to write five-hundred words: 08:15:74
Another fast time, but this is pretty weak, so I wouldn’t say it’s worth the read.
Written at university.