Five-Hundred Word Challenge 106: On the Creature in the River Thames

So I was going to write about how some uni students (by that, I mean a good majority of them for some reason as I unfairly lump a lot of them together, but that’s my bias) really piss me off, but instead I’m going to write about these “sightings” of a creature in the Thames.

There have been two reported sightings of an unidentified creature in the Thames recently.
The areason as to why it is currently unidentified is that we do not have good footage of it yet.
With that being said, personally, I don’t believe it is a monster.

Here’s what I think it could be:

A whale that somehow got into the Thames.
It kind of looks like a whale to me.

A prank of some sort.

Viral marketing for a new monster film. Possibly a sequel to or remake of The Host.

Viral marketing for an event.

A seal or another known sea creature.

An unknown sea creature.

I don’t think it is the last though.

What really surprises me about this is that there is so little available footage of it.
I know that a lot of people don’t generally pay attention to their surroundings these days (or look around at all), but you’d think that if this was something unknown like this, there’s would be far more footage of it available to view, all at different angles and zooms and whatnot.

This makes me think mostly that it is viral marketing first and then a whale second.

But then again, in the general public, who really knows right now?

Maybe I’m being rather cynical about this, but I can’t help it.

This kind of thing happens a bit too much and then (most of the time) we’re left with some odd sort of hype machine and buy into something that we treat as magnificent, good, or…
You get the point.

I think it would be marvelous if it turned out to be an unknown sea creature. I really would. If it was a whale, that would also be marvelous.

If it was any sea creature, I’d be nonplussed about it, but happy at the same time as it wouldn’t be some sort of stupid viral marketing to get people to go see or buy something that will almost inevitably turn out to be not that great anyway.

With that being said, if it is… I don’t know. I ran out of steam about what I was going to write here, so now I’m gasping at the straws that dangle themselves in front of me, just out of reach.

What if this is actually a common occurrence and all the people that are the English are playing us for the fools that we so rightfully are?

That is always another possibility, now that I think about it.

Actually, it isn’t.

Anyway, I’m leaning towards this mostly being false. A viral marketing campaign that manages to “cleverly” trick people.

However, I’m looking forward to being wrong.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 10:43:04
Slower than I hoped.

Oh well.

Yes, I am being cynical.
No, I do not care.

Whilst not my worst bit of writing, it could certainly be much better.

Written at UNSW library.

About Stupidity Hole

I'm some guy that does stuff. Hoping to one day fill the internet with enough insane ramblings to impress a cannibal rat ship. I do more than I probably should. I have a page called MS Paint Masterpieces that you may be interested in checking out. I also co-run Culture Eater, an online zine for covering the arts among other things. We're on Patreon!
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2 Responses to Five-Hundred Word Challenge 106: On the Creature in the River Thames

  1. bymarion says:

    I know this is a post about the creature in the river Thames. But now I REALLY want to read about this uni students thing! I hate your clever marketing tricks 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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