Five-Hundred Word Challenge 87: About Trees

I have a severe dearth of ideas right now, so I apologise if the following reads like some sort of ongoing rambling that has no cohesion or sense.


Trees can have bark, but when they bite, it’s truly a thing that should be something that one should not see.

Well, actually, they should, for if the tree is coming for you and you don’t see it’s jaws of power opening to close around you, then you won’t be able to avoid it and will find yourself being eaten or dead.

Sure, there would be worse ways to go, but why would you want to go from death by being bitten by a tree?

It’s still not pleasant.

When trees start questioning themselves and start watching other trees, feeling some sort of envy towards them and their stoic nature whilst they themselves slowly become more aware of themselves than they should whilst slowly becoming insane at the realisation that they are, in fact, trees, it’s a serious problem, as they’re going barking mad and the last thing you want trees to go through is that.

Could you imagine?!

If trees were to rearrange the stars, they would make them in patterns that swirl both inwards and outwards, creating wonderful dances in the sky of light and stars.

It’s probably a good thing that trees can’t do that. Probably.

As we all know, tree is the strongest material in the world. If there’s anything that video games have taught us, they are nigh invincible and have impeccable stopping power.

This is why you can use a wooden desk to fend off a robber with some sort of powerful weapon of their choosing to assist in the committing in their nefarious crime, whatever that may be (possibly robbery).

Trees are not the greatest source of the oxygen in the world.
That belongs to cyanobacteria.

Knowing that, if someone tells you that the Amazon happens to be the lungs of the world, you can correct them and tell them it’s the ocean.

If they disagree, you can grab a tree and smack them over the head for their heinous transgression. They will thank you for punctuating your point so efficiently, assuming they’ll still be able to talk afterwards as they would most likely be in shock and awe of your ability to grab a tree and uproot it with incredibly little difficulty, then swing it around with no effort required.

In fact, a lot of people would be in shock at your ability to do that and you might get in trouble, so don’t go hitting people over the head with a tree.

It’s a dangerous thing to do and you might hurt the tree.

This is, of course, assuming the tree hasn’t bitten you before you grabbed it, and also that it isn’t busy being an insanely strong material, stopping cars in their tracks and shrugging off the slight tickle that they may feel afterwards.

Trees are seriously tree-like.

They really are.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 9:09:51

Somewhat surprised I was able to write this as I really am running low on ideas.
Maybe I’m good at pulling things out of nowhere when I throw myself into it and should stop thinking so much about whether I have ideas or not, as one of the main reasons I started doing these challenges was to make me come up with stuff on the fly as well as work on developing an ability to write in a stream-of-conscious fashion with more ease.

Also, the the cyanobacteria bit is, as far as I’m aware, true.
It might change as science progresses, but right now, I understand it to be the case.

Written at my desk at home.


About stupidityhole

I'm some guy that does stuff. The standards. Creating amazing effigies, scaling mountains using my feet only and replacing the very fabric of reality. Serious time! I enjoy writing. I make music in some of my spare time. Currently working somewhat full time and studying as well. Also working on self-improvement. Hoping to one day fill the internet with enough insane ramblings to impress a cannibal rat ship. I have a page called MS Paint Masterpieces that you may be interested in checking out.
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2 Responses to Five-Hundred Word Challenge 87: About Trees

  1. lulu says:

    Some days a mind is full of surprise!

    Liked by 1 person

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