Once upon a time there was a person who saw a snowflake that rode the surf off into the sunset because it needed to get back home as its sandwich needed to be eaten.
The person, not quite knowing what was going on, decided to follow this snowflake on their jet ski in order to find out and hopefully learn something new about the mysterious nature of the world.
The journey was an incredibly long and uneventful one.
There were waves and there was water.
The snowflake continued heading along, almost not knowing that it was being followed by a curious person.
It didn’t care whatsoever, for it needed to get to its sandwich with great speed, for time was running short and if it didn’t get there, the sandwich would go off and that would be a waste of food.
Eventually they reached land and, seeing the snowflake head up along, into a field full of wonderful animals and up a mountain, the person followed as quickly as they could.
The snowflake was surprisingly fast for a snowflake that was somehow not getting blown around by wind at any point in the journey.
Still, the person managed to keep up with them with little difficulty.
The climb up the mountain was also quite uneventful.
There were creatures of interest, rocks, and a mountain.
Well, obviously there was a mountain. It was being climbed by the person who may or may not be the main character of this story.
Anyway, once at the top, there was a large valley full of snow and trees.
The snowflake hurried along into a cave that was nearby.
The person, feeling tired and worn out, followed the snowflake into the cave.
There they saw a wonderfully designed home, full of ornate furniture and a long table.
On the table was a single plate with a sandwich sitting there, not looking as though it was freshly made, but still looking incredibly delicious.
The person, being hungry, slowly approached the sandwich, being careful not to bump into anything as their focus was entirely set upon the meal that was in front of them.
They reached the table crept their way along the length of it, spending what seemed to be an eternity going along the side, but soon the beautiful vision of edible items would be ready for their taking into their hands, eaten with vigour and determination.
They could almost feel it in their hands.
The soft bread softly being pressed into as it approached their maw to be sent to their stomach in a rapturous dance of flavour and taste.
They were there in front of the sandwich.
They felt their eyes watering.
They picked it up and then began to raise it to their mouth.
It was time to be fulfilled with nutrients and deliciousness.
It was time to feel full once more.
It was time to eat the sandwich.
It was close to their mouth.
Then the sandwich ate them.
The time it took to write five-hundred words: 10:21:11
I slowed down around the eight minute mark as I began to think too much.
This story is wonderfully stupid.
I like it simply because it is bad.
Written at my desk at home.