Five-Hundred Word Challenge 50: Trying to Talk to People in Elevators

The weird thing about elevators is that they allow for meeting people with far greater ease than we realise, but because they’re so transitory in this manner, it’s rare that you’ll say anything to them, missing a great opportunity to discover someone new who may share your interests, therefore leading to a great friendship, or something else.

For example:

You are getting in the elevator to use the underground parking bathroom as the cubicles on your floor are taken.

You hop in the elevator and then at the next floor, someone else gets in and they stumble slightly and apologise.

You’re not bothered by it and decide to say something witty and humorous about it, but nothing comes as you begin to feel some sort of fear grab and slowly squeeze you as you think the person is cute and quite professional in appearance and the only thing you could say is probably far too crass for human consumption, therefore ruining your chances of ever having some sort of meaningful contact with said person ever again.

You feel the fear crushing your body because you don’t want to ruin whatever chance you have with talking to this person in the elevator and although you are stoic and stone in appearance, inside you’re wondering what you can possibly say to slay the monstrously awkward silence that you can feel so you can finally get on with life in the elevator.

Eventually you decide to throw caution to the wind and say something, regardless of how awkward it could possibly be, as it would certainly be better than trying to say something you’ve thought way too much about and instead of saying it, coming out with “ffffpfpfpffftffpfffpthph”, or “earowuighblat”, as then you’ve said nothing but gibberish and would, on the inside, speak all the obscenities and curses you know due to firmly planting your foot in your mouth because you thought far too much about saying something simple and straightforward.

Instead of impressing someone with your wonderful banter, you’ve come across as someone who sweats far more than anyone should; effectively creating your own salty sea that no one would want to swim in.

“No”, you say to yourself, as you will not be like that.

You want to talk to this person and make them laugh and smile about something small and silly as you could potentially make their day and if not, at least you made them a little bit happier for that moment.

You know you can do this because you’re done with caring about the consequences and you know that, regardless of what you say, it will be received well and then you’ll start engaging in the subtle art of conversation simply because you decided to blunt force your way through the thick fog of awkwardness.

Then the elevator stops at upper parking and you say hello to your co-worker who was waiting for it to arrive, leaving behind the person who was in the elevator with you.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 12:58:30

This one was a bit slower as I began thinking too much about what I was writing.
That you will share an elevator with a lot of people, often the same ones, yet rarely say a word beyond small talk occurred to me recently.

I don’t know why it hadn’t sooner.

This was written at my desk at work.

About Stupidity Hole

I'm some guy that does stuff. Hoping to one day fill the internet with enough insane ramblings to impress a cannibal rat ship. I do more than I probably should. I have a page called MS Paint Masterpieces that you may be interested in checking out. I also co-run Culture Eater, an online zine for covering the arts among other things. We're on Patreon!
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3 Responses to Five-Hundred Word Challenge 50: Trying to Talk to People in Elevators

  1. I’m impressed that your building has a bathroom in the underground parking area. We never see that here.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: Some Things | by marion

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