Five-hundred Word Challenge 41: Journey for Lunch

Today I am writing from my office.
It is raining outside.
Actually looking out the window makes me think it might be more accurate to say that it was raining outside as it appears that, within my viewing range, it is no longer raining, therefore making my saying “It is raining outside” inaccurate, although I imagine that it may be raining somewhere in some place far away from where I am.

Everything outside my current field of view and perception of far off locations aside, it is not raining outside.

It was raining earlier though.

I didn’t bring lunch today, so I decided it would be best to go get some junk food for lunch as I was hungry and didn’t feel like pigging out on chocolate form the vending machine.

I stepped outside into the rain with an umbrella and began to make my grave, dangerous journey to the nearest food place that served the function of serving junk food to the masses.

It wasn’t raining too hard, but I still required an umbrella to protect me from tiny deadly drops of rain from pelting me into a coma that I could possibly never wake from, as that is not something I wanted to experience, ever.

When I reached the food court, or at least near it, I found myself at an impasse.

The torturing deluge had created a river, dragging many automobile vehicles into it, carrying them along to a destination unknown.

I didn’t know what to do as I needed to eat as I was rather hungry.

I decided that it would be best to jump from car to car, slowly making my way to the other side of this deadly flow and hoping that I reached the food court without too much injury.

I began to make my way across, slowly but with certainty. However, I miscalculated one jump and ended up being carried downstream much further than I had anticipated.

Eventually I hit a wall of travel machines.

I took quick stock of my surroundings when I spied one car moving quickly towards me.

I had no idea what to do, so I tried to climb the wall.

Unfortunately I was too slow and found myself crushed between heavy metal.

Then I realised none of that all happened and I was trying to make it into a story of sorts that was interesting, not realising that it wasn’t interesting, entertaining or well-written, so I decided the best course of action would be to somehow save the story instead of stopping.
So I was at this car river when suddenly a huge… creature that was half-donkey and half-bastard emerge from the ground beside me.
We engaged in a great battle, using korfball as our competition.

then it stole my wallet and my pants.


That doesn’t quite work either.

I obtained lunch without issue, and then went back to work to eat in my office.

Today has been quite uneventful.

Still, it hasn’t been bad.


The time it took to write five-hundred words:  12:44:76
Written at work.
A bit slower than expected, but I’m fine with that today.
Not sure if this worth a read, but it sure is silly.
Also, korfball is an actual sport.

About Stupidity Hole

I'm some guy that does stuff. Hoping to one day fill the internet with enough insane ramblings to impress a cannibal rat ship. I do more than I probably should. I have a page called MS Paint Masterpieces that you may be interested in checking out. I also co-run Culture Eater, an online zine for covering the arts among other things. We're on Patreon!
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