Saturday Morning Bicker

Ewe wanted me to write about this and I’m not sure why. There’s not much I can say about the following, but a challenge is a challenge I guess.

The following events are 100% true.

Before Ewe and I went to Bondi Beach on the Saturday before Australia Day, Ewe had trouble picking a shirt to wear. I wasn’t sure as to why he was so indecisive as it was a hot day and wouldn’t matter in the end as we were going to be swimming.

I said to him “It’s not going to matter if you look good. We’re going to be in the water any way”.

He responded with “I want to be comfortable”.

Anna suggested he try a shirt on a friend bought him, but it had a tear in it so Ewe kept on searching.

Eventually I said “It’s not going to matter as you’ll be soaked in sweat soon enough anyway” as it was quite hot outside.

He ignored it.

Anna kept suggesting shirts and Ewe kept on giving reasons as to why he didn’t want to wear them. I kept telling him to pick a shirt so we could go, but he would ignore it.

After a while I became unable to contain my growing frustration and yelled “JUST PICK A GODDAMN SHIRT!”.

He replied with “I want… a shirt… THAT BREATHES!”.

At this point I stormed out and started flipping over wheelie bins whilst yelling incoherently and kicking various objects as I couldn’t handle how ridiculously slow the process of Ewe finding a shirt was.

Eventually I calmed down as Ewe finally found a shirt that breathed. It was heaving heavily on him for a while, sucking in air as though it had been buried under piles of clothes and dust far longer than it should have been, but at least it was breathing.

Then we began our quest for waves and sand via purchasing a beach umbrella.

Unfortunately we were unable to acquire one, but we did manage to take well over an hour to get to Bondi.

About Stupidity Hole

I'm some guy that does stuff. Hoping to one day fill the internet with enough insane ramblings to impress a cannibal rat ship. I do more than I probably should. I have a page called MS Paint Masterpieces that you may be interested in checking out. I also co-run Culture Eater, an online zine for covering the arts among other things. We're on Patreon!
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