Zwack

Zwack Unicum (or Unicum Zwack) is the taste of defeat in a bottle of anguish.

It is very easy to get drunk off it. Quite possibly too easy as it comes on suddenly.

It’s difficult to get a hangover from it. Despite how hard I’ve tried, I’ve not been able to.

Apparently it is the official shot of Hungary. Make of that what you will.

Back in either late 2010 or early 2011, a friend and I were heading back to my house when we stopped off at a Dan Murphy’s on the way (a liquor store chain). We were looking at the various liqueurs when we came across Zwack. It looked interesting enough due to the bottle shape (round) and darkness of the drink but I think we bought it only because of the name.

We arrived home and first had a smell. It did not smell appealing. Despite our nasal hairs catching aflame and dying a fiery death, this was not enough of a deterrent for us. So my friend, a housemate I had at the time who joined the Zwack tasting and I drank.

As our lives flashed before our eyes, we realised that this was not the way to do things. There were grand realisations that, if we were lucky enough to survive our sudden ordeal, we would use to become better people.

But what really happened is we gagged and coughed and thought better of drinking it again.

Except my housemate and I changed our minds because we liked suffering for some reason.

From there a great legacy was not born. Many adventures did not occur.
There were a fair few fun times had though.

In an effort to take a bit of the sting out, my housemate made a mix he dubbed the Zwack Attack. It was Zwack, Limoncello, Red Bull and Chinotto.
It helped the first few times after that.

Then it didn’t.

Zwack can be seriously overpowering.

There were times when we drank it and became quite jovial fellows. Loud, raucous and jovial fellows.

Actually, that is what happened most times we drank it.

The worst time I’ve been involved in was when someone I knew drank a lot of it and other alcohol together very fast.

The resulting hospital trip brought out a lot of fear in me. The person came out okay though and there was much relief.

Since then, Zwack consumption has slowed down, reserved only for special occasions.

And now, some words to live by:

X per I en cedar.

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About Stupidity Hole

I'm some guy that does stuff. Hoping to one day fill the internet with enough insane ramblings to impress a cannibal rat ship. I do more than I probably should. I have a page called MS Paint Masterpieces that you may be interested in checking out. I also co-run Culture Eater, an online zine for covering the arts among other things. We're on Patreon!
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