I have some reasons.
The first and probably the most important one is that I really love to write.
There’s a strong feeling of satisfaction that I get when I write something, regardless of how poorly written it is. However, over the last six years I’ve allowed myself to slip into some form of writer’s block that has also affected my ability to work on music (something that started to break last year).
I started this blog because I wanted to start writing again at the time and whilst I had some ideas (and still do) that I wanted to work on, I wasn’t able to make them move beyond ideas.
I still have this strong urge to write though, so for the time being I’m going to write about my life. It’s not telling stupid, possibly humorous stories like I was hoping to be doing with far greater frequency. It’s also not writing reviews or bad poetry, two other things I was hoping to be putting up here (I used to write reviews a lot). But it’s a start and if I’m writing about something I’ll be able to write more of my stories/bad poetry/reviews.
The second reason is linked to the first in some way. As evidenced by the two-part post, I write poorly. Very poorly. I’ve never been a great writer but I did get better over time until i could write something close to a decent quality. However, as I have not done much writing over the last six years, I’ve gotten fairly bad again. If I’m writing about something, that gives me the opportunity to improve and become better again. Hopefully I become good, but it’s all baby steps at the moment.
Thirdly, it has a lot to do with catharsis. Now, don’t get me wrong. The support I’m receiving from my friends is immense and really helps me remain level-headed about my whole situation and what I want to do. I’m also quite grateful that they’re listening to my emotional outpouring as I imagine it gets a bit much at times. There’s nothing that can take away from the impact that they’re having on my life right now. However, I felt the last few weeks have been fairly intense to the point where I thought it would be a good idea to get them off my chest as much as possible which included throwing them into the mighty abyss that is the Internet. After I put up the posts I felt much lighter, so I guess it worked.
The fourth reason would be that I also think that writing about my life as it stands is going to help my self-improvement a lot. I do aim to keep a journal outside of this as well, but I do feel that putting my life out into public is helpful in some way. Mostly by being a lot more open than I usually am (I’m fairly closed off in areas I shouldn’t be) and really digging into my whole attitude and personality. Hopefully I’ll provide some entertaining stories amongst all the boring ones that will be put here.
Lastly, I’m kind of hoping that my ex reads what I put up. She knows I write, so she might still read stupidityhole on occasion. Maybe it will provide some laughs for her or even a smile or groan, but if she does end up reading this, I mostly hope it provides some insight on my thoughts and perception of the whole situation. On this reason, I’m not looking to achieve anything beyond that.
Now, I’m going to be posting a lot at first. Probably around once every day or two. Eventually this will slow down until I’m into a regular pattern of posting on Wednesdays and Sundays (something I stuck to before the writer’s block). At first I don’t think a lot of it will be happy and I imagine there may be some candid things that I put on here. Maybe the other things I want to write will come sooner rather than later, but I won’t know until I start churning it out, so for the time being I’ll be writing what I know. So please stick with me on the journey and hopefully you all get some laughs as well.